It's quite awhile since I last wrote here. The only place and time that I truly feel like myself is when I am in the act of writing. The freedom of speech and expression is one of the privileges of a democratic state that seems to be a luxury for anyone these days ( I think I'm only speaking for myself in this context).
It's been a year and 4 months since I last held a job. I gave up being a nocturne being and decided to rejoin the world, try a different industry where people work in normal office hours and enjoy holidays. When I was still in the call center, I thought these days are gonna be heaven. Well, I've had a blast but the job-hunt was hell. The main problem that I had to face just like after being incarcerated is the fact that i have to fit into the norm again, sleep patters and all. I'm waiting to be employed in a government agency starting July 1. But before that I've been through a trail of exams, interviews and printed a bundle of resumes and application letters so many that my printer went dry...(may the cartridges rest in peace)
These were the lowest point in my life and it was also the best. It was the lowest in the sense that I am financially incapacitated, I feel so helpless against the bills and rent that my mom's pension is barely getting us out of. I can say the best coz unlike the other time hat I was down and out, someone never left my side, never budged, never cared for what people say. Thanks a bunch Hannah. I love you with all that I am.
You may be really confused about the relation of this article to that of the title. It's simple. This is an expression of my stand to the motherfuckers who's trying to ruin this relationship. That's right motherfuckers! This is for you! I've been silent, I've been polite and I've been nice to all y'all. If you think that I would back down from this, I won't. If in the past i was that lenient, I am a renewed man. I will defend my keep. I will defend the rock that I have built my dreams on. I've bled crimson and bluejust to make the relationship get this far and I will not back down when it comes to defending it.
I appreciate the theatrics, the resourcefulness of going as far as to talking with her parents. But mind you assholes, you ain't scaring nobody. A word of advice, if you value your relationships with other people, if you value your family, you better quit it. I will not rest until I have shamed you amongst your peers, your family and the ones that you sick sons of bitches love. I loathe the very fact that you exist. You insignificant scoundrels who pick on people who never done you wrong just so that you can prove you are worthy of existence.. Eat shit you fucking lousy, perverted bastard! Grow the fuck up! Get a life! Stop ruining other people.
One of these days, I'd know who you are. When that day comes, I hope you said your goodbyes. I will hunt you down bitches! I will slut your fucking throats in front of the whores you call your mothers. I will make these whores realize that instead of giving birth to you, they should have in fact, made your pussy-of-a-father wear a condom. Damn, you're so ugly the condom company should write yo' mommas yearly to apologize for a faulty product.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
A Childhood Wish Comin' True
I always wished I had a dog ever since I was a kid. Just this wednesday, April 21, 2010, it came true. My girl, Hannah, gave us (I mean my immediate family) a 3-month old, half-japanese spitz. We named her Mizuki( we thought it would be cool to give her a jap name.). Now she's sleeping near the foot of my chair as I'm typing this.
The reason why I didn't have a dog was that my mom wouldn't let me have one. She says that the house might stink from the poop and piss. But now, I think she met her match. Mizuki would always move, following people around, as if waiting for people to admire her cuteness. Not to brag, she is a looker. When mom's unhappy about what the puppy's doing. all she needs to say is "Mizuki, NO!". Then the pup would bow her head and work her charms again. she never makes the same offense twice. (except for the pooping and pissing inside the house part coz I still have to train her.)
I couldn't thank Hannah enough. This is one of the best gifts ever. My dad also loves the dog. He wouldn't even let her outside coz her paws might get dirty. My mom combs the pup's fur after her bath. whoa. I guess I wouldn't wander around that much anymore. I got stuff to do in the house. And I also got a puppy to attend to. I really am happy right now. Thanks babe. I think i gotta go now. The dog keeps looking at me. i think we gotta poop. Peace out!
The reason why I didn't have a dog was that my mom wouldn't let me have one. She says that the house might stink from the poop and piss. But now, I think she met her match. Mizuki would always move, following people around, as if waiting for people to admire her cuteness. Not to brag, she is a looker. When mom's unhappy about what the puppy's doing. all she needs to say is "Mizuki, NO!". Then the pup would bow her head and work her charms again. she never makes the same offense twice. (except for the pooping and pissing inside the house part coz I still have to train her.)
I couldn't thank Hannah enough. This is one of the best gifts ever. My dad also loves the dog. He wouldn't even let her outside coz her paws might get dirty. My mom combs the pup's fur after her bath. whoa. I guess I wouldn't wander around that much anymore. I got stuff to do in the house. And I also got a puppy to attend to. I really am happy right now. Thanks babe. I think i gotta go now. The dog keeps looking at me. i think we gotta poop. Peace out!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Meeting the Parents Jitters
I've recently come back home from a trip to Butuan City with my girl and her sister. She wanted me to meet her parents. It's not that we're gonna get married but she wanted them to know me first hand. We shipped out Oct. 22 which is a Thursday. To be honest, I've been anxious since The week before that. I was thinking to myself, what if they don't like me? what if they find something unpleasant? The anxiety grew by the second when I was on board that Butuan-bound ship.
6:30 in the morning on Oct. 23, a Friday, the boat arrived at the port of Nasipit. We were greeted by my girl's Aunty Aking, her mom's sister and her Uncle Lando. They never said a word to me at first just plain "Hi's" and "Hello's". When we arrived at my girl's parent's house, her parents were there. Her mom said hi, but her dad just took 1 glance at me and never spoke a word. After talking with Kate and Hannah, he went off to work. This was the atmosphere until around 8:30 in the mornin. Around nine in the morning, They started cooking since that day was also Xiera's confirmation rite. There were a lot of things to do since they did expect a lot of visitors so I decided to lend a hand. I was slicin' onions, paring potatoes, peeling carrots and lots of stuff. It is here that i had my first conversation and that was with Hannah's aunt who acted as their nanny when they were little. She talked a lot aboput their family's history and loads of other stuff. Sir Ondix (I never got to know his real name. everybody calls him by this name) who was an excellent cook shared in the conversation. He's a native of Pardo so we talked a lot about Cebu. Then lunch came and Xiera's classmates came and so with the rest of the relatives. There was quite a lot of faces to meet. After lunch, Hannah's grandma on her mother's side decided to get to know me better. She's a very gracious woman, well-mannered and very soft spoken. The tone was as if she was giving our relationship a blessing and this was the first time I breathed a sigh of relief.
The afternoon came and some new faces came. They were her mom's batch mates sir Gibson, Sir Jojo, her uncles Mitchell and Marwin. These were the guys who interviewed me a lot, made me laugh, I cracked a joke and made them laugh, and basically made me feel at home. When her Hannah's Dad decided to skip the afternoon shift, her uncle Marwin made a great conversation that the her dad and me shared in. It was the turning point that her dad already felt comfy talking to me after that. Her mom also shared in the conversation and this was the conversation flow for the following days.
The following day we woke up a lil' late and headed to the beach. It was really good. The beach was so clean but the sand made the water dark. It is also near a delta where the river meets the sea so you'd get the picture. But the view was spectacular. The company? the best! we even played mahjong by the beach. It was great. Hahahahahahahaha. And oh, we never get to spend a day without a minimum of 1 lechon. how's that? hahahahahahaha. This is a long one so if you want further details, talk to me.
And to Gian who had a milestone, Kudos to you. wehehehehe. Sirs Gibson, Lando, Jojo, Mawe, Ondix, Mitchel, Marwin and Maam Aking, Maam Julie and nanay and all others I failed to mention, thank you so much for the wlecome and time well spent in Butuan. Words aren't really enough to show my gratitude, one of the best vacations ever!
6:30 in the morning on Oct. 23, a Friday, the boat arrived at the port of Nasipit. We were greeted by my girl's Aunty Aking, her mom's sister and her Uncle Lando. They never said a word to me at first just plain "Hi's" and "Hello's". When we arrived at my girl's parent's house, her parents were there. Her mom said hi, but her dad just took 1 glance at me and never spoke a word. After talking with Kate and Hannah, he went off to work. This was the atmosphere until around 8:30 in the mornin. Around nine in the morning, They started cooking since that day was also Xiera's confirmation rite. There were a lot of things to do since they did expect a lot of visitors so I decided to lend a hand. I was slicin' onions, paring potatoes, peeling carrots and lots of stuff. It is here that i had my first conversation and that was with Hannah's aunt who acted as their nanny when they were little. She talked a lot aboput their family's history and loads of other stuff. Sir Ondix (I never got to know his real name. everybody calls him by this name) who was an excellent cook shared in the conversation. He's a native of Pardo so we talked a lot about Cebu. Then lunch came and Xiera's classmates came and so with the rest of the relatives. There was quite a lot of faces to meet. After lunch, Hannah's grandma on her mother's side decided to get to know me better. She's a very gracious woman, well-mannered and very soft spoken. The tone was as if she was giving our relationship a blessing and this was the first time I breathed a sigh of relief.
The afternoon came and some new faces came. They were her mom's batch mates sir Gibson, Sir Jojo, her uncles Mitchell and Marwin. These were the guys who interviewed me a lot, made me laugh, I cracked a joke and made them laugh, and basically made me feel at home. When her Hannah's Dad decided to skip the afternoon shift, her uncle Marwin made a great conversation that the her dad and me shared in. It was the turning point that her dad already felt comfy talking to me after that. Her mom also shared in the conversation and this was the conversation flow for the following days.
The following day we woke up a lil' late and headed to the beach. It was really good. The beach was so clean but the sand made the water dark. It is also near a delta where the river meets the sea so you'd get the picture. But the view was spectacular. The company? the best! we even played mahjong by the beach. It was great. Hahahahahahahaha. And oh, we never get to spend a day without a minimum of 1 lechon. how's that? hahahahahahaha. This is a long one so if you want further details, talk to me.
And to Gian who had a milestone, Kudos to you. wehehehehe. Sirs Gibson, Lando, Jojo, Mawe, Ondix, Mitchel, Marwin and Maam Aking, Maam Julie and nanay and all others I failed to mention, thank you so much for the wlecome and time well spent in Butuan. Words aren't really enough to show my gratitude, one of the best vacations ever!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Game Review: Call of Juarez II: Bound in Blood
Howdy partner! heheheheheh howdy indeed! I wuz a jobless cunt for quite a while now so I ended up sendin' resume's thru email and of course gaming. I wuz browsing thousands of game torrents on the internet (coz I can't even afford a pack of smokes! sheesh!) and i found this on thepiratebay.org. Pretty cool game. graphics are decent. but the bodies don't have bullet holes once you hit em dead. But I still give it a 7/10 rating anyday. its a really fun and addicting game. You'd be either playing Ray, a dual-pistol shootin, dynamite throwin', Gatling gun carrying hoodlum or his brother Thomas who can jump higher, use a rope, shoot arrows and throw knives. rifles and pistols are shared weapons, but duality goes to Ray. The Maps are huge but there are onscreen markers that you can follow for going into the objective. It's so realistic that you really can ride the map a long time and die by falling off a gorge! ahahaha. yep. i am an idiot and i tried it in the game! aside from the story line, you can also go on side missions w/c you can get money. The missions vary from gun-for hire type to killing a whole gang of outlaws. One unique feature of the game that I'd love to stress is the shootout wherein you get to be in a gun duel! you also get to ride a horse and have it walk or sprint w/c completes the cow boy feel. haha! its too complex for words so check the game out! no kidding. for FPS lovers like me, this is worth your time.
Playing as Thomas, providing Ray w/ covering fire
focus mode w/c makes you aim w/ your rifle better (goes for pistols too)
the showdown mode
dual sawed off shotguns.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Everyday is Family Sunday
Just the other day, my mom was out the hospital. A lot of friends and family called in to make sure that they heard the news right.
I then noticed what happened. Mom out of retirement, dad is almost at flexi-time when it goes to work, me and my brother taking a breather from work ( we're bums right now if that's what you prefer) , makes me realize that these are rare moments where we get to spend a whole lotta time just being w/ each other. like a very long, extended Sunday.
We started that day by eating breakfast together, just talking. I even had a rare occasion of hearing my dad crack a joke that made us both laugh(this really is weird given we don't really coexist that harmoniously often). What follows was a long lazy day. my brother and mom were at the room watching TV. I was in the living room reading " Breaking Dawn" all day, smoking while I'm at it. Dad is watching TV in the living room too.
There was nothing but just casual chit-chat, jokes, coziness in between. I was constantly checking whether this was a dream or not but it wasn't. And that made me happy to know that we are really in it. *Sigh*. I'm not really a materialistic person. moments like these just wanna make my heart explode out of sheer joy. well, I gotta get back to 'em. ciao!
I then noticed what happened. Mom out of retirement, dad is almost at flexi-time when it goes to work, me and my brother taking a breather from work ( we're bums right now if that's what you prefer) , makes me realize that these are rare moments where we get to spend a whole lotta time just being w/ each other. like a very long, extended Sunday.
We started that day by eating breakfast together, just talking. I even had a rare occasion of hearing my dad crack a joke that made us both laugh(this really is weird given we don't really coexist that harmoniously often). What follows was a long lazy day. my brother and mom were at the room watching TV. I was in the living room reading " Breaking Dawn" all day, smoking while I'm at it. Dad is watching TV in the living room too.
There was nothing but just casual chit-chat, jokes, coziness in between. I was constantly checking whether this was a dream or not but it wasn't. And that made me happy to know that we are really in it. *Sigh*. I'm not really a materialistic person. moments like these just wanna make my heart explode out of sheer joy. well, I gotta get back to 'em. ciao!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
beaten down bad, bleedin like hell...
I really wonder if there would ever be a time that i would settle. Like even in the span of a day, I won't worry about anything or any one. Just like way back when I was a kid. I would only think of excuses that my dad won't let me take my afternoon nap so i could just play around with friends. Simple, peaceful, fun.
The past months were like hell for me. I mean I don't hurt that much but this was the anniversary of my "Hell days on Earth months". It was the biggest, longest. mind-twitching charade I ever had. Coz back then, just when I thought I had everything all figured out, I was wrong. Dead Wrong. but back then it was on my lovelife. (kinda showbiz sounding but its better to be simpler *wink*).
But now, I'm facing graver threats to sanity. just now, as I'm typing this blog, mom's in the hospital w/ a case of UTI. She went to Surigao w/ my brother then to Samar with me. Whenever she goes traveling, she always forgets to rehydrate w/ water and settles for softdrinks instead. so the story goes. I haven't visited her yet coz I'm afraid I'd cry my eyes off. She is my strength. seein' her like that would just tear my heart appart.
Next off, i really am getting beat from my jobhunt. i really want a dad-type boring desk job that I can settle in. but Apparently, the only thing that's available are agent positions in call centers. Frankly, I'm almost losing hope. *sigh* I never wanna go back to the job that almost cost me my life.
Well there goes another round in life, a lot more to go, so I gotta keep fighting. as long as Hazel Eyez got my back, I can take on anything in my path. bring it on!
The past months were like hell for me. I mean I don't hurt that much but this was the anniversary of my "Hell days on Earth months". It was the biggest, longest. mind-twitching charade I ever had. Coz back then, just when I thought I had everything all figured out, I was wrong. Dead Wrong. but back then it was on my lovelife. (kinda showbiz sounding but its better to be simpler *wink*).
But now, I'm facing graver threats to sanity. just now, as I'm typing this blog, mom's in the hospital w/ a case of UTI. She went to Surigao w/ my brother then to Samar with me. Whenever she goes traveling, she always forgets to rehydrate w/ water and settles for softdrinks instead. so the story goes. I haven't visited her yet coz I'm afraid I'd cry my eyes off. She is my strength. seein' her like that would just tear my heart appart.
Next off, i really am getting beat from my jobhunt. i really want a dad-type boring desk job that I can settle in. but Apparently, the only thing that's available are agent positions in call centers. Frankly, I'm almost losing hope. *sigh* I never wanna go back to the job that almost cost me my life.
Well there goes another round in life, a lot more to go, so I gotta keep fighting. as long as Hazel Eyez got my back, I can take on anything in my path. bring it on!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Young and Hopeless... I Mean Jobless.
It's been 3 months since i last had work. I wasn't loittering around wastin' my time. I was really looking for a job that I can settle in for eternity. I really mean this literally. Coz as far as I recall, I never had a job that I liked that I chose to stay. I've been in and out of call centers, of hospitals for getting sick due to the night shift, but hey, I never complained. having its perks also means you got to be beaten to a bloody pulp. What's more troublesome is that I can't seem to shake my mom off my business. I love her and all but cliche as it may sound, I really wanted to scream on top of my lungs and say I'm not a kid anymore. That I, as individual require my own personal space.
I am way off the mark for the age of majority, I've never had a decision in life that I regret. I think things over carefully. I hate efforts that are half baked. i understand that maybe, just maybe since mom just got into retirement, she may have insecurities. I wish she would just listen to my reasons and see for herself that I am full of insecurities too. Why the hell would I love being a bum? I know I got obligations, I know I have to help out. But can't they just give me a break? I'm doin' my best in applying for "normal" jobs. I'm waiting for them to call so we can sign a damn contract. I don't wanna work a nocturne forever. I don't live to work. I work to live.
What's the point of having good pay if you just waste it on meds and hospital bills? This time, I won't ever settle for anything less than what I deserve.
This blog has helped me out a lot in expressing myself. If not for this, I would've gone mad a long, long, long time ago. peace out.
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