Wuzzup world? How's it been since I last wrote my thoughts on you? I've been in a real wild ride but hell. it can't get no worse than this.
I wuz just at the damn hospital coz I got costochondritis ( sounds cool but chest pains really hurt like hell. like little heart attacks goin on simultaneously). Thedoctor said I gotta say no to my vices now. Is she nuts? damn. I mean does she even know how to live a life the way that i did?
Seriously thogh. the pain that I suffer when I had the "attacks" are not even close to the pain that i had in months. Life was not that fair in the affairs of the heart. But I guess I still have to be thankful. Coz in the process, I get to know the meaning of my existence. How people value me as a person, as a friend, a brother by blood or by choice. People that I expect to be there, left me out in my darkest times. People I barely even knew, w/ whom I never expect much support from, gave me strength and cheered me on to the point where I stand today; a man able to stand back up, still sentient, a lover of life. And for this guys, kudos to you.
The times that I spent alone in that hospital room, made me realize that it aint how many friends you know or you have, its how many TRUE friends that you have at your side. unyielding, immovable, strong. We never pick our true friends. Time and trials filter them out for us. some require much time to be seen, others just a little, others are just under our noses waiting to be recognized. These friends were my shots of morphine for my bleeding heart.
But for the pain that I have inside, dear friends, the only time that I lied to you, is when I said that I am fully healed, and I feel no pain at all. For that, I'm sorry. I just never wanted you to worry....
2 comments:
ei moe, yes, i do have a soft squishy mushy side, but i avoid vulnerability so i have this brickwall facade. oh, you've seen him, typically at the start 'til end of my shift you'll see him... hush now, keep the i-know-who to yourself.
anyhoot. i got worried about what happened to you and wanted to visit when you were confined, been asking nikher about you. sorry po, wasn't able to visit. tough one huh, no to vices eh? you can do it, start by just cutting down on it and eventually take a vow of celibacy, hehe! take good care of yourself kid. you only have one body and i'm sure it didnt come with a spare. ;)
thsnk God for blogs i wouldnt have known u were hospitalized moe and feeling darn better now ( i hope)...i will spare u from advices..i know u have a lot of em saved for ur disposal...LOL...keep healthy kay new year na! weeeeeeeeeh!!!
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