Everyday is Family Sunday

Just the other day, my mom was out the hospital. A lot of friends and family called in to make sure that they heard the news right.

I then noticed what happened. Mom out of retirement, dad is almost at flexi-time when it goes to work, me and my brother taking a breather from work ( we're bums right now if that's what you prefer) , makes me realize that these are rare moments where we get to spend a whole lotta time just being w/ each other. like a very long, extended Sunday.

We started that day by eating breakfast together, just talking. I even had a rare occasion of hearing my dad crack a joke that made us both laugh(this really is weird given we don't really coexist that harmoniously often). What follows was a long lazy day. my brother and mom were at the room watching TV. I was in the living room reading " Breaking Dawn" all day, smoking while I'm at it. Dad is watching TV in the living room too.

There was nothing but just casual chit-chat, jokes, coziness in between. I was constantly checking whether this was a dream or not but it wasn't. And that made me happy to know that we are really in it. *Sigh*. I'm not really a materialistic person. moments like these just wanna make my heart explode out of sheer joy. well, I gotta get back to 'em. ciao!

beaten down bad, bleedin like hell...

I really wonder if there would ever be a time that i would settle. Like even in the span of a day, I won't worry about anything or any one. Just like way back when I was a kid. I would only think of excuses that my dad won't let me take my afternoon nap so i could just play around with friends. Simple, peaceful, fun.
The past months were like hell for me. I mean I don't hurt that much but this was the anniversary of my "Hell days on Earth months". It was the biggest, longest. mind-twitching charade I ever had. Coz back then, just when I thought I had everything all figured out, I was wrong. Dead Wrong. but back then it was on my lovelife. (kinda showbiz sounding but its better to be simpler *wink*).
But now, I'm facing graver threats to sanity. just now, as I'm typing this blog, mom's in the hospital w/ a case of UTI. She went to Surigao w/ my brother then to Samar with me. Whenever she goes traveling, she always forgets to rehydrate w/ water and settles for softdrinks instead. so the story goes. I haven't visited her yet coz I'm afraid I'd cry my eyes off. She is my strength. seein' her like that would just tear my heart appart.
Next off, i really am getting beat from my jobhunt. i really want a dad-type boring desk job that I can settle in. but Apparently, the only thing that's available are agent positions in call centers. Frankly, I'm almost losing hope. *sigh* I never wanna go back to the job that almost cost me my life.
Well there goes another round in life, a lot more to go, so I gotta keep fighting. as long as Hazel Eyez got my back, I can take on anything in my path. bring it on!

Young and Hopeless... I Mean Jobless.

It's been 3 months since i last had work. I wasn't loittering around wastin' my time. I was really looking for a job that I can settle in for eternity. I really mean this literally. Coz as far as I recall, I never had a job that I liked that I chose to stay. I've been in and out of call centers, of hospitals for getting sick due to the night shift, but hey, I never complained. having its perks also means you got to be beaten to a bloody pulp. What's more troublesome is that I can't seem to shake my mom off my business. I love her and all but cliche as it may sound, I really wanted to scream on top of my lungs and say I'm not a kid anymore. That I, as individual require my own personal space.

I am way off the mark for the age of majority, I've never had a decision in life that I regret. I think things over carefully. I hate efforts that are half baked. i understand that maybe, just maybe since mom just got into retirement, she may have insecurities. I wish she would just listen to my reasons and see for herself that I am full of insecurities too. Why the hell would I love being a bum? I know I got obligations, I know I have to help out. But can't they just give me a break? I'm doin' my best in applying for "normal" jobs. I'm waiting for them to call so we can sign a damn contract. I don't wanna work a nocturne forever. I don't live to work. I work to live.

What's the point of having good pay if you just waste it on meds and hospital bills? This time, I won't ever settle for anything less than what I deserve.

This blog has helped me out a lot in expressing myself. If not for this, I would've gone mad a long, long, long time ago. peace out.